Hahah, you got me wrong when I said the thing about pissing him off. I don't and *haven't* done that for the exact reason you pointed out. I was just saying that to show the obnoxious extent it would take-- something I'm not really willing to do. If he's pissed, I'm not in that great of a mood either, in which case either of us would enjoy it and, realistically, he wouldn't want to be having sex then anyways.
And I do trust him, he's one of the few people I do completely trust. He's one of the only people I've told about being into this. It's him trusting himself that's the issue. Or is that what your telling me to google, in which case I will kindly remove myself from here and leave you be?
And I do trust him, he's one of the few people I do completely trust. He's one of the only people I've told about being into this. It's him trusting himself that's the issue. Or is that what your telling me to google, in which case I will kindly remove myself from here and leave you be?
AnonymousI’m happy to read you’re not pissing him off to get rougher sex. I do recognize the problem you’re writing about. It was a struggle for me to realize that being a sub didn’t mean I was a failure as a modern woman. And it took me a little longer even to realize my husband was having issues of the same sort. When you’re taught from an early age that women are equals and hitting them makes you an evil man, it’s difficult to to view your desire to dominate your wife/girlfriend as good.
So it will, most likely, take some serious time for him to come to peace with his desires (if he has them). What helped us:
- Talk about what we fantasize about
- I told him how much I liked the ‘rough stuff’ after we were done
- We took small steps forward
Now he just grabs me and does unspeakble things to me whenever he feels like it. So it’s worth the time and effort ;)
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